Now, I don’t know if am the only one, but most times I dread the question what do you want to do after 4th.
Or with your life.
Honestly, the question what do you want to be is the kind that keeps me up at night because I want to pursue so many things and venture into different fields that it’s depressing when I can’t seem to major at any of them.
Growing up, most kids already had a preset mind about what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Doctors, pilots, engineers and all those ‘luxurious’ career choices we lifted our hands up to proudly tell our class two counterparts.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t.
I , for one, wanted to became Kibaki’s house maid because my little dumb head told me they were probably paid a lot of money and ate good food unlike my dad’s favorite meal. Githeri.
Yeah…you heard me right…imagine that was my class two mentality!(Insert emoji with palm on forehead)
So growing up, the question of what do you want to be when you grow up has always confused me and left me in thought because I want to become a number of things..and I wouldn’t pick one which I was drawn to.
My highschool life was no better.
I recall my form one clinic, (when parents came to school to analyze results)… I wrote down dentist as my career choice. Though frankly I did that to impress my dad, and also because I was really enjoying my biology classes. I still remember how proudly he smiled at that.
I toyed with the idea of becoming a DJ so my highschool friends started calling me DJ something (Hee…I will tell you that name next time)
In my form two clinic, I changed the career option to music producer. I was taking music lessons, facinating! You should have seen the disappointed look on my father’s face…more so my math’s teacher who went speechless and just gave me the “You are not serious” kinda look.
All this while, I still didn’t really know what I wanted to be…I am not sure I still do.(Urghhh)
My form three clinic day was nearing. That morning I still didn’t know what to write on my sheet for a career option.
So I perused the dictionary and came across the word Geologist. Haa I loved Geography at that point…plus the name sounded fancy so I wrote it down hoping my dad had no idea what it meant.
He took a look at my sheet and said “Watu waliacha kuchimba mawe sasa unataka kuchimba mawe ya nini?)
”People stopped excavating rocks, what do you want to dig them up for?”
I was busted. Me and my geology vocabulary.
Form four was worse. The numerous career talks about choosing universities and the courses you would want pursue.
I really didn’t have like a burning career option… I studied smart, to attend university as a regular student but not really for a particular kind of career.
(I know you’re thinking I wasn’t serious)
So, that has been the story of my life..
I got lucky, joined university though as an education student…besides choosing theatre and film as my first option against my parent’s approval.
English and literature being one of my passions makes me enjoy the education option but I don’t feel like teaching is my thing.
I want to become a serious writer, renown columnist some day. Others, I wanna write scripts and cast in movies or theatre plays.. I wanna sing in a band so bad and perform to live audiences…I have also pictured myself in the media industry and want to be an entrepreneur as well.
I work as a research assistant and I would consider that line of work because of the pay. If the worst comes to worst…become a high school teacher…I am actually not that bad.
These are answers that run through my mind when someone asks me about what I want to do once I am done with school.
Truth be told, I dread this question most of time because by telling them my myriad of career options; I run the risk of appearing like the greatest joker..or an unfocused grown up, who still hasn’t figured out her life yet.
I am the kind who becomes so interested and invested in something… say like the number of novels I have started…and just when I begin to entertain the idea of becoming a published author… I lose interest and start pursuing something different.
Sometimes, it weighs down on me when someone looks at me like I am not serious for telling them I am yet to figure out what I want to become.
Maybe I am not alone, there are several of us out there.
It can be confusing and disappointing as well.
Luckily, I found a name for these kind of traits in people.
They are simply called multipontentialities. (Long name huh?).
The opposite is specialists. ( people who know and are definite about what they want to be.)
While the people who posses these kind of traits are called multi-potentialites.
These are the kind who have different interests and creative persuits in life. The ones whose hyperactive curiosity makes them want to explore different areas and may have more than one calling in life.
You are the kind living in a society that tries to conform you into studying, to become that burning career you should have had since you were young.
There are so many things you want to excel at which make you feel like something is wrong with you .This is because you just can’t pick one. Sometimes you feel anxious, purposeless and lost.
Which makes you doubt yourself..it’s depressing while the rest label you unfocussed but guess what, nothing is wrong with you.
You are perfectly normal, and gifted.
You are a quick learner and one who is possibly less afraid to try out different things in life. Right?
You are the kind of person who often has the ability to step out of your comfort zone and learn a new thing, which most of the times is connected to everything you want to do.
You contain the power of formlessness.
Instead of thinking about what you could be…think of all the things you could be. No one said you you have to pick one thing and throw the rest of your passions into the gutter? (Though society pretty much reasons that way.)
You have multiple potentials…and no, it’s not a limitation.. It’s your own unique ability.
You could be a teacher who performs in a band sometimes, teaches dance, writes scripts for films and stops to become an entrepreneur.
You don’t have to narrow down.
Something else, you are adoptable.
Being flexible means you take on whatever life throws at you with ease and make lemonade out of it.
Therefore, you shouldn’t narrow your focus on just one thing instead embrace yourself and the many passions you possess.
Think of it as an amazing gift..embracing it will lead you to a happier existence as opposed to beating yourself up for it.
Which I’m still learning to do and you could too.
Embrace yourself and how different you are from the rest. It shouldn’t be depressing at all.
I know it has felt like it many times…that feeling of purposelessness, but not anymore.
There are people like you out here. They got a name as well…
So just in case you also fall under this category, or you know someone who does, and they feel lost in the confusion of their inability to narrow down to one calling in life, remind them it’s a gift and not a curse.
You could read more about it, and begin your journey of self discovery..and how to work around your multipotential
You could start with the link below…
Discover yourself, and this amazing gift.
It’s going to be okay.