A smile dodged my lips,
At the glimpse of a hopeful world.

Amidst the chaos of maddening works

I heard,

A defining moment of silence,

of peace and calm.

In hateful hearts of men,
Stood some amongst them,
With the kind of force that crushes sheets of cold ice hearts.


That melts giants,

By the sway of infants born.

There among masses,
With masked marks,
Painted painless,
Of far fetched laughs,
Were the few that owned their scars

Standing unpretentiously naked,

Real as the hawks of death.


There were souls that still sang,

As their bodies were ripped apart.


Leaves that still hang,

As the strong monsoons sprang.

I could spot,

Pairs of hungry eyes,

Scheming through bits of printed wit.


My heart was glad,

At the will to live,

Amongst a society that still bleeds.

It was glad,

At the profound peace,

In a state of near bleak.


It was glad.

At the Infinite He,

She or It,

That held all of us

In perfect bliss.


All of it a glimpse,

At a possible perfect world.

@Lilian 2018.


Dear sets of troubled souls,

Here is a piece for sets of troubled souls,

For the souls that leak from endless cuts.

For the souls that would rather a pit that’s dark.

For the souls trapped in gloomy days,

A hopeless haze .

For souls wrapped in confusion,

Millennials stuck in quarter life crisis.

Here is a soothing song to you troubled sets of souls.

Dear beautiful soul,

Who’ve made a habit of cursing every little experience your life encounters.

How about beginning to learn to see a tiny bit of perfection in everything.

Perfection in the process, perfection in the pain, growth out of your experience.

For doesn’t the arrow sit patiently watching as it is pulled backwards, in order to launch the journey forward hitting the bull’s eye?

It does, doesn’t it?

So what if I told you you are the reason why your life is the way it is? (I heard how quick you are to refute my claim) But hear me out first.

So everyday you wake up, you think fuck it’s dawn again. Same boring job, same boring day, the economy is bad, I can’t make enough money, school life sucks e.t.c. With no gratitude in your soul whatsoever, but counting the losses plus all the things that don’t work out in your life.

Yet, you set forth the day with all the negativity, miraculously hoping your day will turn out great.

How now?

Here is what no one probably ever told you, the only answer that the universe knows is yes. Doubt all you can but that’s the truth.

It’s not a filter system that filters what is not good for you, bringing forth only the good it only knows yes.

So if you declare life sucks. The universe says yes it does, the people you meet, the events that happen, your life experiences all happen to affirm the statement life sucks.

On the contrary, if you declare you are blessed and everything works out for you, you deserve happiness and love, the universe says yes, God as the creator affirms this statement.

You meet people who bring out the best in you, events and circumstances that work in your favor.

So my dear,

Have you perhaps gone about your day, you life with negativity imprinted upon your soul?

With continued statements of lack.

Like how all men are dogs, no good women left, no jobs , money is hard to find, money is evil, it’s impossible to do that, happiness is unattainable, you’re  not beautiful enough, not confident enough and all the negative aspects of life you could gather.

The universe like a huge photocopying machine, gives you exactly what you put out.

So, speak, think and act only out of positivity. Speak blessings into your life and that of others.

Be grateful for everything, that which you have and that which you hope to have. Gratitude is the language of the universe.

Also beautiful soul,

Be aware of destination addiction. This is the thought that happiness is in the next place. The next job, next spouse, next job group, next promotion, after graduation, after you’ve bought a car e.t.c.

There is only the now moment dear, don’t miss out on the present while all the focus is on the future. When will you live?

You also attract what you condemn beautiful soul, watch what you say about others.

If people are liars to you, you’ll encounter only liars.

Declare life is easy, it’s beautiful, it’s worth every trouble even when you feel like it’s not.

When on the verge of giving up exceptional soul,

Send positive thoughts,

The world is yours to have.

Feel the sun,

Watch the stars,

Speak your heart,

Own your feelings.

Sing, dance, write something.

Dawn is a moon away.

What feels like your darkest hour, is part of the process.

Inhale deeply

Exhale slowly

Feel the the rhythm of love

Of calm and fill with peace.

God got you,

Yes is all the universe knows.

If you purely choose happiness and positivity then it’s yours to have.

You are love,

You are light,

You are loved.

@Lilian 2018.


Has anyone noticed how lately, or from the earliest times, humans have blamed others for their unhappiness and misery?.

Okay, I know a lot of people are to blame for some or maybe a lot of events or actions that affect the rest of ‘us’ . But are we really ever trapped in the cross hairs of other people’s actions or are we, in the most realistic senses, only victims of ourselves?

Let’s examine the causal effects of our unhappiness from say, a heartbreak, or betrayal by a person you trust, or the boss that fired you, or the driver that caused a certain accident, or the dead beat father, or the cruel mum that abandoned you, or the husband that ill treated and cheated on you, or the government official you think is the devil… the list is as endless as it is disturbing. Truth of the matter is, a lot of people are full of bitterness for something they believe another person did or that someone else actually did, that in turn resulted to their suffering.

Autonomous victimization is kinda justified as I have deduced from the few psychology books I have so far read.

Ultimately and unfortunately , bitterness and misery will go on for as long as YOU want it to. Experiments and hypotheses have been explored by hypnotherapists where subjects were made to believe that an ice cube was a piece of hot coal and consequently experiencing a burning sensational in the process.

It seems, your perception of the whole situation will determine whether the ulcers at the pit of your stomach will continue to burn or heal with equal speed .Your thought, plays a vital role in determining whether your head continues to throb in pain or cease with or without painkillers. Your perception about your first and most recent heartaches dictate whether the wells in your eyes will continue to flow, whether the cracks in your heart will widden, and whether the peace in your soul at this exact moment will set you free.

It’s all in your hands… err… minds!

I think if you TRULLY, love yourself you’ll choose only good things for yourself, especially on thoughts about yourself and how you allow yourself to function as a physical, emotional, intellectual and even spiritual being.

In this regard, it’s expected, even at the basic levels of man’s survival instinct, you’ll make only choices that serve you expediently.

One of the choices would be to decide, whether you want a situation to keep dragging you down forever.

No matter how painful, how much you put yourself out there and got hurt in return, the biggest choice you’ll ever have to make is:

To either focus all your energy on the negative, continue blaming him/her , for your misery, beat yourself up for the mistakes of your past, and stick with those who bring you negative energy;


Use all that energy in turning yourself around. Having a positive outlook at everything.

I believe nothing happens by coincidence. Even your worst state of affair was meant to bring you a certain experience .

After all, without a sence of absence of something, It’s precense can never actually be detected. Meaning, if you had never known hate, how would you know the opposite of hate, which is love?

How would a country know peace in the absence of war?

How would you know prosperity in the absence of some suffering?

Turn your life around and learn to see positivity even in the not so good situations.

Laugh at your problems, let go of any negative causing thought.

All thought is energy, in form of vibrations and your experiences are transmitted back to you in equal measure.

If you harbour only negative thoughts, of how miserable the world is lately, of how only ‘bad’ things happen to you, of how much you hate something or someone the experience of your life will be exactly that.

You’ll meet people who make you feel worse, situations that prove to you that only negative things happen to you.

The opposite will happen when you’re full of positive vibe.

When you think you’re a blessed child of God, who deserves all the good things in life: Happiness, love, peace, joy, A good job, a good wife, a great hubby, wealth, a good family, a good friend… Self forgiveness.

I know you just read these few examples and perhaps have a cynical outlook on the possibility that you could have all the above, and more. And that is exactly the root of your unhappiness; that you don’t think you deserve it.

So in whatever you go through, be glad and have a positive outlook.

Let go of toxic causing agents. Be it the disease that continues to put you down, or the underaacomplishment that bites bits of your self worth every day, you have to set yourself free. Only you can do that.

Sorround yourself with love, and happiness. Watch a comedy.

Laughter truly is the best medicine. As opposed to sitting at a corner cursing at the world and blaming God.

Be positive all the way.

It will change how you view life, and everything that will happen to you onwards will be positive. Even when it’s not, you’ll always find a reason to be glad. Especially when it is not.



​Religion is a delicate matter. 
I can almost count the number of times I have been involved in discussions regarding this very topic, with people who had opposing opinions. Most times it kinda left a strained relationship for failure to agree; or a sour taste in the mouth for an opinion you couldn’t fathom. Sometimes the discussion ends with others more dissolutioned when a question/ challenge is poised to you and you have no answer for it.

Or you get a disasfactory biased  answer  which doesn’t convince you but you let it slide either way given even the other fellow ‘opponent’ doesn’t exactly know what the ultimate is, but gives you his preferences.

There have been times I have had questions about matters or situations that didn’t exactly add up, or go inline with the truth I have grown up with, truth of my religion, the truth of society I have grown around, the truth I have been continually seeking.

Reincarnation for instance, there are well researched cases of kids who remember who they were in the previous lives, kids as young as two to three years old and this precise and accurate details match those of people who have lived before. Proof that reincarnation is a high possibility.

So when my religion refutes  reincarnation and thinks it an absurd idea about the concept of God to even come up with as a Christian, there was a disconnect. Something not adding up.

The issue of, which is the true religion and will the people of all the other ‘false’ religions be ‘condemned’ on judgment day for not choosing Christ as the way even if they lived righteously. While, it’s really not their choosing what geographical locations they were born which really did determine their life in terms of how they worshiped. 

Not to mention how disturbed I got while a staunch Christian told me with conviction that our fore fathers who were mainly traditionalist will all be condemned to eternal fire because they did not know Christ, and choose him as the way to the Father. I mean it’s not their fault they parted before the missionaries brought the Word to them.

 So who are we to condemn or convict them to hell already? 

And so, in my quest to find an answer and the deeper universal truth that doesn’t contain biasness and reflects God as the Universal Creator , who loves us Christians, Muslims, Buddhist, Hindus etecetra all equally, as his children I found the book ‘Conversations with God’ By Neale Donald Walsch.

Here is an excerpt from chapter 1.

In the spring of 1992—it was around Easter as I recall—an extraordinary phenomenon occurred in my life. God began talking with you. Through me. 

Let me explain. 

I was very unhappy during that perantif personally, professionally, and emotionally, and my life was feeling like a failure on all levels. As I’d been in the habit for years of writing my thoughts down in letters (which I usually never delivered), I picked up my trusty yellow legal pad and began pouring out my feelings. 

This time, rather than another letter to another person I imagined to be victimizing me, I thought I’d go straight to the source; straight to the greatest victimizer of them all. I decided to write a letter to God. 

It was a spiteful, passionate letter, full of confusions, contortions, and condemnations. And a pile of angry questions. Why wasn’t my life working? What would it take to get it to work?

Why could I not find happiness in relationships? Was the experience of adequate money going to elude me forever? Finally —and most emphatically—What had I done to deserve a life of such continuing struggle? 

To my surprise, as I scribbled out the last of my bitter, unanswerable questions and prepared to toss my pen aside, my hand remained poised over the paper, as if held there by some invisible force. Abruptly, the pen began moving on its own. I had no idea what I was about to write, but an idea seemed to be coming, so I decided to flow with it. Out came… 

Do you really want an answer to all these questions, or are you just venting? 

I blinked…and then my mind came up with a reply. I wrote that down, too. 

Both. I’m venting, sure, but if these questions have answers, I’d sure as hell like to hear


You are “sure as hell”…about a lot of things. But wouldn’t it be nice to be “sure as


This is how the book begins, and the conversation goes on with Neale asking God the same questions you and I have continually asked. 

What’s our purpose on earth? Is there a true religion and if there is which one? What happens after death? Is there heaven and hell? What makes relationships work? Why is there so much suffering in the world? The story of creation…

Does God speak only to special people or to all of us? The concept of time, Is reincarnation real? Is there life on other planets? Divine Dichotomy and the question of the soul, Is sex evil or bad? Marriage? Concept of the devil, Is smoking weed bad? (Haha I know). Awareness.(and a whole myriad of topics He addresses)

It’s a trilogy full of the most interesting conversation in human history (my view), enlightening answers and mind blowing view of life and God. Difficult concepts that could take sometime to internalise, as it gives you unexpected truths from the one a lot of us probably hold. While it acknowledges other truths(Jesus for example,)

I get how skeptical you’re probably feeling. I had  the same when a friend told me about this book until I sat down and read it.

The question would be, how sure are we it’s God. A question the writer continually asks God, what if it’s his own imagination? To which God answers, Even if it’s not Him, can you imagine a better way to live? And either it’s Him or this  writer is a very bright guy! Yes God has a sense of humour, didn’t He create it in the first place?

In my view, I cannot imagine a human mind with such a magnificent broad concept of life and especially God,(broad is an understatement) as presented in the answers of this book which you wouldn’t agree with until you read to get what I’m saying.

It’s free online for all human kind to access,  to get enlightened and walk in full awareness.

You can also read how Neale life turned completely around after this revelation. His quest to bring people to experience God worldwide despite the religion they belong to, to foster peace, unity and healing in a world full of frustrated and self condemned beings who constantly feel unworthy while in true sense they are not.

 In true light, they are the most magnificent of God’s creation.

If they believed this, they would have a complete turn around and experience of life, they wouldn’t fear death they would walk in awareness.

If truth is what you constantly seek, I’d recommend this book, hold it against your truth and what you’ve always believed in then choose, which is the better way to live.

My puzzles fell into place. You’ll feel it in your heart, a spiritual awakening you’ve probably haven’t experienced yet or haven’t fully experienced by the time book 3 is done.



Broken chords croak,

Broken petals wither then fade,

Broken hearts bleed.

So does a broken man,

Who never loves the same,

A broken woman,

Who never trusts the same.

A broken soul, that rarely hopes again.

@Lilian 2018.


Now today I wanna sound a little, okay waay vulgar, hoping though none of my relatives reads this piece…lol! We all know how judgy some of them can get. 

 It’s real talk. 

So everytime I hold talks or conversations with my female friends regarding a number of things, the topic bad sex somehow always pops up.

 Yeah, I see how you raised that eye brow hee…oh and sorry for the chaste ones, if you feel like this discussion will lead you to eternal condemnation you might as well leave it at here…It’s allowed.

Now statistics show, haha not scientific but from the majority of talks, most of our guys out there don’t give it to us right. Or skip a few vital things in the process.

Yeah, the ones who have no clue about how to do you are far more than the few good ones.

The unfortunate thing however, is that they actually think they are perfect and they give it to us like experts but oh boy(insert that emoji for frustrated, palm on forehead.) 

I know this topic has been talked about over and over and numerous articles have come up, but this happens to be my version. So I will give you pointers on some of the tips and issues that come up with this discussion.

  1. Guys who don’t walk the talk.        Ladies, you’ve probably come across that guy who talks too much about how good he is, the size of his D, and how he will give it to you until you call his name all night, blah blah blah..then you imagine how anxious you are thinking you can’t wait to experience the magicstick, then the times comes…wooi! He does not do shit. Rams you so shaddily all this time you are thinking WTF is he doing.                                         So tafathali wanaume, actions speaks louder. Don’t praise your game when you can’t do shit. Prove it to her let her be the one to do decide how good you are the praising will follow. Tumeelewana?
  2. FOREPLAY, FOREPLAY,FOREPLAY.                   Now, do I even need to explain the meaning of foreplay. Always take time to prepare your woman. Especially if you intent to make love to her and not Ef her. You know there is a difference right? Foreplay is setting the mood right. It goes from maintaing that eyecontact, to giving pointers like holding her hand squeezing it intimately, sexy talk…etcetera Unless of course she prefers to go right into it. Please again don’t prolong it sana..Stamina huisha. Moving on.
  3. Never sholve your fingers just anyhow.                                            Oh dear, there is nothing as bad and irritating like fingers shoving your P like some cat scratching the ground so as to take a piss.    It takes skill. I mean we are delicate for crying out loud. There is nothing mindblowing when you shove your fingers in there, applying excess pressure on all the wrong spots, it hurts. Again, women are not the same. What worked on Jackie won’t always work on Mercy. Some women don’t even like finger efing. So take your time to learn your woman. Be gentle and slow, if she allowed you, you have all the time. What’s the rush? Now if you seriously think you need lessons which I think you do, take your time and click the link below on fingering basics. Learn a thing or two will you? 
  4.   Shut up and make love or fuck      whatever you want to call it.    It happens to be so irritating, when you are right in the process, but the guy just can’t shut up. No, I’m not talking about groaning or moaning. I am talking about the irritating behavior blackmail like. Eg “come on say you love me baby, you love me right? (Spanks your ass.) I’m good right? Tell me you’re fucking loving it!  Urgggggh! I mean for crying out loud!! It’s so irritating coz first that voice is far from sexy it’s like you’re giving commands. Second, I’m hating it if anything. This kind of behavior screams an insecure man, it doesn’t matter whether you’re trying to pull that porn move.So just shut up and ram. Okay bruh? 
  5. Aftersex Etiquette.                           So we’ve heard the energy used tapping out is like running a 24km marathon lol! So probably rolling off and snoring would be the most natural thing to do. But heck, haven’t you heard women like guys who are sensitive to their feelings? Or the ones who at least make us feel appreciated later. Kiss her on the forehead,  pay her those nonsensical compliments, like you enjoyed it or how lovely she is. It goes a long way. Then you can drift off to sleep. Unless of course you chipod her, or you’re just ef buddies so there are no expectations. But if this happens to be your woman, never drift off to sleep without the after sex etiquette. Garrit?

I will leave it at those five points for today. You’ve heard them over and over again. How about you seriously consider change. If you’re still caught up in the bad behaviours.    

    ​Sometimes the storms of life sink our sailing ships.

    The fog and mist derail our prevailing journey

    Sometimes the wind is so strong

    We can’t keep grounded, we’re blown.
    The tremors, shake confidence off our core.

    The pressure is too much

    Expectations too high

    Hope sinks even lower.


    Our souls get lost.

    The battle to find self

    The struggle to get up,

    To stand out.

    Urge to prove greatness.

    We break,

    And fall,

    And crawl,

    The cracks form.

    We are far lost

    Trapped in life’s snare…

    We continue to drown

    without a hand to pull us out.
    Heaven seems distant

    Not a soul that gets you either

    Hope, a planet away.

    Such is life sometimes.