Has anyone noticed how lately, or from the earliest times, humans have blamed others for their unhappiness and misery?.
Okay, I know a lot of people are to blame for some or maybe a lot of events or actions that affect the rest of ‘us’ . But are we really ever trapped in the cross hairs of other people’s actions or are we, in the most realistic senses, only victims of ourselves?
Let’s examine the causal effects of our unhappiness from say, a heartbreak, or betrayal by a person you trust, or the boss that fired you, or the driver that caused a certain accident, or the dead beat father, or the cruel mum that abandoned you, or the husband that ill treated and cheated on you, or the government official you think is the devil… the list is as endless as it is disturbing. Truth of the matter is, a lot of people are full of bitterness for something they believe another person did or that someone else actually did, that in turn resulted to their suffering.
Autonomous victimization is kinda justified as I have deduced from the few psychology books I have so far read.
Ultimately and unfortunately , bitterness and misery will go on for as long as YOU want it to. Experiments and hypotheses have been explored by hypnotherapists where subjects were made to believe that an ice cube was a piece of hot coal and consequently experiencing a burning sensational in the process.
It seems, your perception of the whole situation will determine whether the ulcers at the pit of your stomach will continue to burn or heal with equal speed .Your thought, plays a vital role in determining whether your head continues to throb in pain or cease with or without painkillers. Your perception about your first and most recent heartaches dictate whether the wells in your eyes will continue to flow, whether the cracks in your heart will widden, and whether the peace in your soul at this exact moment will set you free.
It’s all in your hands… err… minds!
I think if you TRULLY, love yourself you’ll choose only good things for yourself, especially on thoughts about yourself and how you allow yourself to function as a physical, emotional, intellectual and even spiritual being.
In this regard, it’s expected, even at the basic levels of man’s survival instinct, you’ll make only choices that serve you expediently.
One of the choices would be to decide, whether you want a situation to keep dragging you down forever.
No matter how painful, how much you put yourself out there and got hurt in return, the biggest choice you’ll ever have to make is:
To either focus all your energy on the negative, continue blaming him/her , for your misery, beat yourself up for the mistakes of your past, and stick with those who bring you negative energy;
Use all that energy in turning yourself around. Having a positive outlook at everything.
I believe nothing happens by coincidence. Even your worst state of affair was meant to bring you a certain experience .
After all, without a sence of absence of something, It’s precense can never actually be detected. Meaning, if you had never known hate, how would you know the opposite of hate, which is love?
How would a country know peace in the absence of war?
How would you know prosperity in the absence of some suffering?
Turn your life around and learn to see positivity even in the not so good situations.
Laugh at your problems, let go of any negative causing thought.
All thought is energy, in form of vibrations and your experiences are transmitted back to you in equal measure.
If you harbour only negative thoughts, of how miserable the world is lately, of how only ‘bad’ things happen to you, of how much you hate something or someone the experience of your life will be exactly that.
You’ll meet people who make you feel worse, situations that prove to you that only negative things happen to you.
The opposite will happen when you’re full of positive vibe.
When you think you’re a blessed child of God, who deserves all the good things in life: Happiness, love, peace, joy, A good job, a good wife, a great hubby, wealth, a good family, a good friend… Self forgiveness.
I know you just read these few examples and perhaps have a cynical outlook on the possibility that you could have all the above, and more. And that is exactly the root of your unhappiness; that you don’t think you deserve it.
So in whatever you go through, be glad and have a positive outlook.
Let go of toxic causing agents. Be it the disease that continues to put you down, or the underaacomplishment that bites bits of your self worth every day, you have to set yourself free. Only you can do that.
Sorround yourself with love, and happiness. Watch a comedy.
Laughter truly is the best medicine. As opposed to sitting at a corner cursing at the world and blaming God.
Be positive all the way.
It will change how you view life, and everything that will happen to you onwards will be positive. Even when it’s not, you’ll always find a reason to be glad. Especially when it is not.