How fast that year flew.
One minute it was January, the next I hear Christmas carols , and that sarafina tuned song for ‘Wasee wasee tuchome nyama’ and the Christmas melodies finally fall into place.
If you’ve listened to Mary’s born child around June or July, you would understand how these carols perfectly fit this season.
You literally can’t stand them.
Yet here it is.
The season of tidings.
Now about this year, I don’t know about yours but mine was a great year. I know I said this again last year, but it’s the truth.
This year has been very enlightening for me.
It’s the year I got to really evaluate my values. My reason for being, why I do what I do, my purpose and even why I write.
Last year for me was amazing in terms of blogging for hitting over 5000 views.
That in itself made me proud and was immensely thrilling.
Numbers spoke to me but this year not so much.
I have had very few posts this year and the few have left me totally elated and contented with what I wrote and how it was received.
I understand as writers we all love to live a legacy when we are gone.
Everyone wants to be remembered for something.
For being a hit, publishing a best seller, becoming a famous author or poet.
These are great ambitions. However what’s the sponsoring thought behind this?
Could the reasons be purely for personal gains or gratification? So the world can see you in a certain way, mostly the conventional definition of success?
So that you can generate traffic on your blog, and that’s an awesome thing but what’s your reason, the subconscious thought behind it?
When I started writing back in 2015, it was thrilling suddenly discovering I had a gift for poetry.
I’d post my pieces all over on whatsapp, Facebook everywhere I got the chance. I’d then keep on checking to see the likes, the comments and status. Most of them were praises and I felt good about that.
I felt like I was in a competition with other poets from a group called Poets Lounge, and I wrote more and more about any topic, because I loved to, and also to out do other poets and to get more praises.
When I wrote a piece and it didn’t do well, you can guess I was devastated and sometimes doubted my writing prowess.
Looking back, I realize, I was coming from a place of the ego.
The ego wants to feel good, to feel on top of the game, to feel like it’s the best among the rest. A place where I was looking for self validation from outside.
This year I sat down to evaluate why I write and what kind of legacy I want to leave.
I learnt about a concept that’s called the Be, Do, Have paradigm.
This is where, in order to have something, anything you want or wish to have, first become that which you would be if you had that thing.
You want to have a good job? What would you be if you had that job? Happy, fulfilled?
Then start by being happy, being fulfilled every day of your life. Do things that make you happy and fulfill you meanwhile. Then your job will find its way to you effortlessly.
A lot of people have this backwards. They think once they have something they will become what they hope to be.
So they think once they have this job, or that perfect match, or many readers they will be happy and fulfilled .
I have learnt to write because I am happy, filled with love and awe and the need to reach out to someone and share what I know.
Not because I hope that through writing and getting thousands to read, and give positive feedback will make me happy and prove that I am a good writer.
Therefore personally, the best kind of legacy is where I rose with others when I lived.
It doesn’t have to be a famous endeavor, but that one, two souls were touched by my writing. Positively.
Where as a writer it is less of whose better than you, how many people read you but more of what message you put across, how many people you helped. Even through humor. If they laughed you played your part in healing.
I realized once you come from a place of beingness, you get to the place of havingness.
Doing what you do because you feel great and happy results to having more and more of what you hope to achieve.
Writing for example, you begin to make a living out of writing, generating more readers when you come from a place of beingness.
I write to inspire, to encourage, to heal and deconstruct social conventions. To bridge the gap.
I want to be remembered for the souls my writing changed for the better , gave hope or healed.
Could be through writing serious stuff, real life experiences, humor whichever means.
I don’t know why other people write. I have met some who write for the thrill of fame.
I started here. When the comments and statistics meant the world to me and probably that’s what motivated me more. When I didn’t reach the numbers it killed me slowly.
Growing for me has been reaching a place where outside circumstances no longer affect my inner peace.
This is the best place to be. This is only possible because of evaluating why I do what I do.
Not because you hope the results will make you feel a certain way but because you are fulfilled during the process.
Everyday, I(we) continue to evolve and I don’t want to be known for someone who wrote so many pieces and poetry collections if those writing did nothing to rise with others but merely gratified my ego or my one sided facet of body.
In everything you do, rise with someone.
Be it in your job your career, your social interactions.
There are so many things happening in our world.
War, depressed people, youths in quarter life crises, parents killing their children and committing suicide and I think what the world needs besides addressing these issues is love and healing.
How better to start than in the simple way we live. Love one another, encourage the other, talk to a stranger, speak your mind, choose to heal and to touch whoever crosses your path.
In every aspect of your life, the great career or business you have that God has given you, try to come from the state of love.
Treat your employers, your colleagues with love and kindness.
What kind of legacy do you want to leave ?
When you think about that is it about yourself only, or does your legacy include other people too?
I figured mine out . I want it to do with other people and healing the world.
You’ll gradually realize, the easiest way to have something is by giving it away.
The universe knows no other way.